Diary of a Wishful Thinker

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Mon, 13 May 2013 11:59:14 -0400

Finally reached my due date, twisted dreams of skinny jeans and...

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:35:27 -0500

Finally reached my due date, twisted dreams of skinny jeans and labour pains haunt my sleep :/

Baby is kicking, hubby to be is snoring, brain is on overdrive Officially reached my due date and...

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:30:30 -0500

Baby is kicking, hubby to be is snoring, brain is on overdrive
Officially reached my due date and nothing too bad or dramatic has happened. I think this is what they call progress

As 2012 Approaches...

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 06:09:31 -0500

diaryofawishfulthinker:

I have realised now that there’s a lot of myself that requires adjustment and tuning, for the betterment of my heart and my future. I want to be less cynical and sceptical. I want to be inspiring, not depressing. I love the thought of being totally optimistic, but I think that without a little dash of gloom and sorrow every once in a while, we become lost in hope and fantasy, unable to absorb and truly understand life’s realities. SO here’s to finding the perfect balance.

I’m going to spend the next few weeks, in anticipation for the new year, trying to sort things out in my life. Who do I really need rather than who do I want to continue association with out of guilt? What are my priorities, not what others expect or want of me? Where do I draw the line for when enough is enough?

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Some things changed, other things didn’t.

Last night, the beginning of the end

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 05:53:21 -0500

Last night, the beginning of the end

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Wed, 05 Dec 2012 05:04:41 -0500

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Tue, 16 Oct 2012 15:57:28 -0400

The life plan

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 15:28:55 -0400

The girl eventually got all she ever dreamed of having. She had meticulously planned her life over and over, after every bad decision. And this was always how it had read on paper. So why so sad now? She had it all, but was so terrified of losing it she daren’t breathe. She felt more insecure an replaceable than ever.

We strive so hard for this image we call perfection. We plan our lives and then work hard so we get exactly what we want. Then when we do have it, we are so petrified of losing it all that we can’t even enjoy it. I wonder now, what is the point?

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Tue, 16 Oct 2012 15:25:51 -0400

Locked in

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 09:10:59 -0400

I feel like i’m in this cage. He used to joke and say he wanted to lock me up so no one else could get me. And now its happened. Now i can never go anywhere, never leave, never just be on my own. I’m so stuck, locked in this relationship, with no escape in case of emergency. It makes me feel so sick. And resentful. I sit and i think how have I let this happen? I was bulldozed into something i now am never going to be free of. I did love him, I still do underneath all this i think. But how can i be sure now? Now there’s pressure and panic. How will things work. Where will I be in a year? Not where i wanted to be.

He still has his plans, i find out this morning nothing on his agenda has changed. Is it wrong to be jealous? Looking for jobs abroad whilst i’m left here all alone in my little box struggling to cope with the overwhelming weight of it all. It just doesn’t seem fair.

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Fri, 18 May 2012 09:44:00 -0400

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Fri, 18 May 2012 08:01:18 -0400

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Thu, 17 May 2012 16:03:03 -0400

Sometimes i wish i was one of those people who could just pack their suitcase and go wherever they...

Thu, 17 May 2012 15:27:09 -0400

Sometimes i wish i was one of those people who could just pack their suitcase and go wherever they wanted. Not to have to plan everything and work out how she would cope, just to go and figure everything out when she got there. No drama, no stress!

But people complicate things. You could never really justify it to anyone, not like they do in the films. Its technically abandonment isn’t it. They’d really never forgive you. However happy something makes you, there needs to be the equal amount of misery somewhere else. Just to balance the world.

Relationship timeline down the aisle <3 SO happening at my...

Thu, 17 May 2012 14:56:40 -0400

Relationship timeline down the aisle <3

SO happening at my wedding!

How lovely would these notes be to read after the wedding.

Thu, 17 May 2012 14:55:50 -0400

How lovely would these notes be to read after the wedding.

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Thu, 17 May 2012 14:55:22 -0400

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Thu, 17 May 2012 14:09:14 -0400

When he says ‘I need space’ an your like woah where has this come from?! Worst feeling...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:45:18 -0400

When he says ‘I need space’ an your like woah where has this come from?!
Worst feeling in the world.
I hate how much people can hide from you.

Today was dramatic, I’ll be so glad to go to bed

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:37:22 -0400

Today was dramatic, I’ll be so glad to go to bed